By Craig Martel | PoliticsAreLocal.com | #TheSnarkyTruth
Let’s get one thing straight: Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana is not stupid. He just plays one on TV. (I could Be Very Wrong)
The man has degrees from Vanderbilt, the University of Virginia School of Law, and Oxford. He’s not some backwoods bumpkin who wandered into the Senate chamber by accident. He’s a highly educated political operator who has chosen, deliberately, to cloak himself in a caricature of Southern folksiness, weaponized ignorance, and bumper-sticker snark.
And it’s working. Kennedy has become a viral sensation, not for his legislative accomplishments (there are none worth mentioning), but for his ability to deliver soundbites that sound like they were ripped from a Cracker Barrel placemat. He’s the Senate’s resident court jester, except the joke is on us.
This article is a deep dive into the history, hypocrisy, and hollow populism of a man who’s turned political theater into a substitute for governance.
Buckle up.
The Ivy League Cowboy Act
Let’s start with the obvious: John Kennedy is not who he pretends to be.
Born in Centreville, Mississippi, and raised in Zachary, Louisiana, Kennedy attended Vanderbilt University for undergrad, earned a law degree from UVA, and then studied civil law at Oxford. That’s not exactly the résumé of a guy who “just calls it like he sees it” from the front porch.
But Kennedy knows the game. He’s crafted a persona that’s equal parts Andy Griffith and Yosemite Sam, a drawling, folksy truth-teller who peppers his speeches with phrases like “go buy yourself an emotional support pony” and “always be yourself, unless you suck.”
It’s all an act. And it’s designed to distract from the fact that Kennedy has spent decades as a political chameleon, switching parties, ducking accountability, and voting against the very people he claims to represent.
Party Switcher, Principle Dodger
Kennedy started his political career as a Democrat. He ran for state attorney general in 1991 and lost. He served as Louisiana’s state treasurer from 2000 to 2017, a position he held while switching parties in 2007 to become a Republican.
Why the switch? Because the GOP was ascendant in Louisiana, and Kennedy wanted a Senate seat. He ran in 2004 and lost. He ran again in 2008 and lost. Finally, in 2016, he won, riding the Trump wave and reinventing himself as a MAGA-friendly populist.
This isn’t ideological evolution. It’s opportunism. Kennedy didn’t change his beliefs, he changed his branding. And now he uses that branding to punch down, deflect criticism, and avoid serious policy debate.
Soundbite Senator: The King of Word Salad
Kennedy’s Senate career is defined not by legislation, but by viral moments. He’s the guy who asks witnesses if they “believe in Santa Claus” during Judiciary Committee hearings. He’s the guy who calls climate activists “elite bedwetters.” He’s the guy who turns every serious issue into a punchline.
But when pressed on facts, Kennedy folds like a lawn chair.
Case in point: During a 2023 Senate hearing on gun violence, Kennedy tried to dunk on Chicago’s crime rate, a favorite GOP talking point. But Dr. Megan Ranney, dean of the Yale School of Public Health, calmly pointed out that Louisiana has a higher firearms death rate than Chicago.
Kennedy’s response? “Word salad.”
Translation: When confronted with data that contradicts his narrative, Kennedy defaults to dismissiveness. He’s not interested in truth; he’s interested in theater.
The Shutdown Hypocrisy
Fast forward to October 2025. The federal government is shut down. Millions of Americans are facing delayed paychecks, stalled services, and economic uncertainty. And what does Kennedy do?
He takes the Senate floor to rail against “wasteful” foreign aid and “socialist” Democrats, accusing them of holding the country hostage over budget demands.
Let’s pause here.
Louisiana is one of the most federally dependent states in the country. It receives far more in federal aid than it contributes in taxes. Kennedy’s constituents rely on federal support for health care, disaster relief, infrastructure, and education.
So when Kennedy mocks Democrats for wanting to fund ACA outreach, the very programs that help rural families access health care, he’s not just being hypocritical. He’s being cruel.
And when he calls Democrats “socialists” for wanting to restore funding that Republicans stripped from the budget, he’s ignoring the fact that his own state survives on federal “handouts.”
This is not fiscal conservatism. It’s performative ignorance.
Blocking Accountability: The Grijalva Delay
Let’s not forget Kennedy’s role in the broader GOP strategy of obstruction.
As of this writing, House Republicans, with Trump’s blessing, are refusing to swear in Rep.-elect Adelita Grijalva of Arizona. Why? Because she’s the 218th vote needed to force the release of the Epstein files.
Kennedy hasn’t spoken out against this. He hasn’t defended the democratic process. He hasn’t demanded that a duly elected representative be seated.
Because Kennedy doesn’t care about accountability. He cares about protecting power. And if that means blocking a Latina congresswoman from doing her job, so be it.
The Faux Philosopher Routine
Kennedy’s public persona is built on the idea that he’s a “straight shooter” , a country lawyer who speaks plain truth. But his quotes are often meaningless, contradictory, or just plain dumb.
Examples:
• “Always be yourself, unless you suck.”
• “Go buy yourself an emotional support pony.”
• “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
These aren’t insights. They’re bumper stickers. And they’re designed to distract from the fact that Kennedy has no serious policy agenda. He’s not solving problems. He’s performing.
Voting Record: A Trail of Harm
Let’s look at what Kennedy actually does when he’s not mugging for the cameras:
• Voted against certifying the 2020 election results from Arizona
• Opposed the $1.7 trillion omnibus package that included disaster relief and health care funding
• Supported Trump’s judicial nominees, including those who opposed reproductive rights and voting access
• Voted against gun safety reforms, despite Louisiana’s sky-high firearm death rate
• Opposed climate legislation, even as Louisiana faces rising sea levels and extreme weather
This isn’t representation. It’s sabotage.
Rebuked at Home
Even Kennedy’s home-state press is fed up.
In December 2023, The Advocate, Louisiana’s largest newspaper, published a column titled “How much lower can John Kennedy go?” It called him an “embarrassment” and criticized his Senate hearing antics as “serial demeaning of his political opponents.”
When your own state’s flagship paper is calling you out, maybe it’s time to rethink the act.
Final Thought: The Joke’s Wearing Thin
John Kennedy is not a harmless eccentric. He’s a calculated performer who uses charm and snark to mask a record of obstruction, cruelty, and hypocrisy.
He’s the kind of politician who tells poor families to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” while voting to cut the very programs that help them survive. He’s the kind of senator who mocks climate science while his state drowns. He’s the kind of man who calls others “socialists” while his own constituents rely on federal aid to keep the lights on.
And he’s the kind of coward who hides behind folksy one-liners when the truth gets uncomfortable.
The joke’s wearing thin. The damage is real. And it’s time we stopped treating Kennedy like a colorful character and started treating him like what he is: a dangerous distraction from the work that actually needs to be done.
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